Crossing Borders †Interracial Dating Essay

In the hodge-podge of American culture you are bound to find interracial dating. There are many differences between people. One that is obvious to the naked eye is the difference of race. In the society that we live in it is sometimes difficult for people of different races to be a couple. The Dominant Culture puts out an invisible border that separates people of different races. In an experiment that I did with a white friend named Michelle, we went out as a couple. Me being Indian and her being Caucasian posed some difficulties for some people to understand. We first went to a park and decided that we would just sit on the swings. There was another little Caucasian girl next to us. The next thing I saw really surprised me and Michelle. The mother of that little girl came and quickly grabbed her daughter and brought her to another part of the playground. All along, the mother looked at me and Michelle in a weird way. After that, we went to the shopping mall. Keeping in mind that we are in a predominantly white suburb, we held hands at the stores. People looked at us as if we were from another planet. I guess they could not believe that an Indian guy and a white girl could be going out on a date. We even brought another one of my friends to see the reaction of other people that me and Michelle could not see. Our other friend, Jim, said that many people kept on starring at us. Also that some people were whispering about us after they had passed us up. This really was a surprise to me. This experiment that I did was a real eye-opener because it gave me the evidence that people really were not happy seeing different races dating. Although this is not the opinion of all people, it seemed to be the opinion of a quite a number of people. These people are what keep the invisible border present in society. The real question that I asked myself is why this happened. One conclusion I came to was that since this was a primarily white suburb, people would not be too open to different races just being there. If someone different from them was to come into their society, it would be natural for them to not accept them. Especially in a situation that involved dating, people would be closed minded. Not only would they want themselves having nothing to do with interracial dating, they would want others of their same race not to be involved with interracial dating. The white people in this suburb probably looked down upon Michelle for being with an Indian guy. Furthermore, the events of September 11th did not help this situation either. Ever since that date, Indian people have been clumped into the whole middle-eastern terrorist category. This just gives the people of this suburb a reason to denounce me and our relationship. Much of this anger comes out of stereotypes. Since these people think that most middle-eastern people are bad or somehow connected to terrorism, this creates a stereotype that I am labeled with. Another reason we got such a hard time is that our cultures did not match up. Even though we have similar values, the customs of Caucasians and Indians are obviously different. Many people in the suburbs that we saw probably did not understand my culture, so what they do not understand, they do not like. People still have stereotypes of Indians. They might think that we cannot speak English or that we smell. These stereotypes bring the Indians in a lower regard with the dominant culture. Why is it harder for black and white couple to be accepted by society rather then an Indian and a white couple? This particular question can be answered in many ways. One of the many reasons is that social standards are set in our community that base blacks down the totem pole. Blacks have been discriminated against from the start of slavery and to this day in some rare cases. The dominant culture has looked down upon blacks because of their skin color for many generations. This is cause for the dominant culture to look down upon blacks. When it comes to Indians, some white people perceive Indians as somewhat semi-British. Whites are less prone to be against a relationship with an Indian person. It is more accepted for Indians to date white people because the dominant culture holds Indians in higher regards than blacks. It is because of biased thinking that this notion came into being. After everything, people are still not open to other ideas or beliefs. Even though the dominant culture puts out an invisible border, that border is becoming more visible with stereotypes that are put out there. This invisible border is displayed by their actions when they see interracial couples. They make it more difficult for these couples to be together. Other things like September 11th added to this invisible border in me and Michelle’s case. What this means is that the majority of our society will be closed minded to interracial dating. What it also means is that the racial lines will be erased if these couples get married and have children. The dominant culture wants to keep the races separate. In relating my experience with Michelle in that suburb, I felt like we should not be together as a couple. The reactions I got made me feel like I did something wrong. It is this feeling the invisible border is suppose to bring to me. I realized this only in the end. It is up me to decide who I date. It should be the concern of the two people that are dating and not the society.